How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Take Up Space: My Turning Point With Impostor Syndrome

At times, walking into a new room with new people can be daunting all on its own. You look around and everyone seems comfortable being there, like they know they belong. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there wondering what in the world is happening and what you’re even doing there. And so, you stay quiet the entire time, hoping no one finds out you’re not supposed to be there. No? Just me, then.

Growing up, no one ever talked to me about these feelings or thoughts. What they meant, where they came from, or why they felt so loud. I lived with this incredibly intrusive voice in my head for far too many years. I talked myself out of things I wanted, doubted myself even when I was fully capable, and felt like I had to prove not only to others that I belonged, but to myself. It’s an exhausting cycle, and if these thoughts have never or rarely entered your mind, consider yourself fortunate.

Now, I do want to give myself credit for doing many things in spite of that doubt and fear. I’ve always been a little daring, and that’s helped me stretch in ways that still surprise me. But don’t think for one minute that I wasn’t looking over my shoulder to see who might be whispering about me. I constantly had a pit in my stomach, waiting for someone to out me as a fraud.

Things began to shift when I started a three month creative mentorship for performing aerial artists with the incomparable Rachel Strickland. This is where I was first introduced to the concept of the Gremlin, also known as Impostor Syndrome. That naggy voice that validates and confirms your worst internal dialogue. The one that tells you you don’t belong, you’re too much, who do you think you are. Don’t you ever want to say, “Have you got nothing better to do? Shut it already.” You can, but first it helps to understand why that voice shows up.

Understanding the why allows us to build a different kind of relationship with the gremlin. And why would you want a better relationship with such an intrusive voice, you ask? Because that voice is part of you. And if it’s part of you, then having a healthier relationship with it means having a healthier relationship with yourself. Your reasons for wanting that might be different from mine, and that’s perfectly reasonable.

This clicked for me even more deeply during my coaching certification. The why became clearer. That voice exists to protect you. It wants to keep you safe from embarrassment, from shame, from making a fool of yourself. That’s why it appears any time you’re about to embark on something new or exciting. At least, that’s what it thinks it’s doing. The truth is, that voice keeps you small. It keeps you from growing and expanding in the ways you want and in the ways you’re meant to. That’s where you get to call BS. You get to set boundaries. You may never fully cut the cord, but you can absolutely define the terms of the relationship.

And then came the moment everything shifted for me.

It was during my last coaching certification session that we worked on our personal gremlins. I was called to the front of the class so our instructor could demonstrate this incredibly powerful exercise. That demo got to the bottom of when this voice first appeared and why it stayed with me for so long. From that very innocent moment in my past, I had taught myself to stay small, to not take up space, to not want more room to be me. I carried that heaviness everywhere I went. During the exercise, I got to thank the voice and I told it I didn’t need it to do that for me anymore. It was incredibly cathartic and a true turning point for me.

Allowing the gremlin to run wild makes it much harder to accomplish your goals, if you accomplish them at all. Don’t get me wrong, this voice is strong. But you can be stronger. How? You start small. One tiny step at a time. If you want to go from couch to marathon, you don’t start by running three miles on day one. You start by walking. You build time before distance. Speed comes much later.

No matter what that voice whispers, do the thing anyway. Everyone around you is tangled in their own doubts, not watching for yours. Thank the voice, release it, and move. Your people are far too busy wrestling with their own gremlins to judge yours. So go do the damned thing. Do it badly. Mess it up. Learn. Grow. Have fun. And give that voice a new job. Let it be the one that says, “Go. Take up space. You’ve earned it.”

If you want more daily coaching musings and creative prompts to deepen your self‑awareness and reconnect with your creative self, come join me over on Coaching.Creatives.